Borowitz Report - Satire

Democratic Race Poses Challenge for Racists, Sexists
Nowhere to Turn, Disgruntled Haters Say

With the field for the Democratic presidential nomination narrowed to Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton, racists and sexists are finding themselves in a quandary over which candidate to support, prominent racists and sexists confirmed today.

Across the U.S., voters who describe themselves as both racist and sexist complain that the two-person field, while touted by the media as history-making, is forcing them to ask a difficult question: which group do they hate more?

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An Overlooked Cause of Hospital Death

Medical Journal Reports Blood Clots Are Most Common Cause Of Preventable Death In Patients. It's the most common preventable death in the hospital.

"It's staggering to think about the number of patients who have preventable events related to clots in their legs, which eventually become fatal," said Dr. Nick Morrissey, a vascular surgeon at New York-Presbyterian Hospital.

Blood clots that travel to the lungs kill 25,000 Americans every year.

And a new study out in the Lancet says only about half of the hospitalized patients at risk are being treated to prevent them.